"Dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with God easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject. But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative." (45, 47)

I think Nouwen does an excellent job highlighting some of the benefits of having consistent time alone with the Lord in which we glean from His Spirit. Humbling ourself before the Lord regularly naturally creates in us a posture that wards off selfishness when interacting with other brothers and sisters in Christ. I have certainly been in the room when two Christ followers get incredibly heated discussing, debating, and even arguing about anything from Universalism to whether Lebron James will ever be better Jordan.

Without that time spent in the Lord's presence "zeroing" ourselves, we will always innately skew back towards selfishness and it will manifest itself in our interactions with others. But not in the pleasant relationships; anyone can be nice to someone who is being nice to them or who completely agrees with you on everything. It's in the relationships with those who disagree with us, offend us, harbor resentment against us, or who don't know us at all. My desire and my prayer is to be exactly the person Nouwen describes here; I want to be authentic. What kind of place could Wesley be if everyone embraced this idea; if everyone knew how to handle differences of opinion, how to stand firm without seeming headstrong, honest with one another without being judgmental, understanding without sweeping ugly short-comings under the rug, and sincere so as to keep ourselves from contriving. My prayer is that this sort of genuineness permeates through me and that the manifestations of this genuineness becomes second nature.

PS.

"Living in a community with very wounded people, I came to see that I had lived most of my life as a tightrope artist trying to walk on a high, thin cable from one tower to the other, always waiting for the applause when I had not fallen off and broken my leg." (53)

This has nothing to do with what's above, but I thought that this word picture Nouwen utilizes here brilliantly captures the sentiment that I believe most people "running the rat race" feel. They desire so badly to matter, to be noticed and since this world places so much emphasis on achievement, status, and accomplishments they really do live their life trying reach some lofty, difficult position without messing up. The thought that they are waiting for recognition for not having "fallen" really saddens me. Their validation is entirely contingent on what they achieve and there is no guarantee that they will even receive that validation when they achieve their goals. Praise God who formed and fashioned us before the foundations of this world and who desires to be with us and love us in spite of our achievements or lack there of.